This article was scientifically fact-checked by Human Sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz.
In a world where fetishes and kinks such as capnolagnia (a smoking fetish), and cuckolding (being sexual aroused by seeing your partner with another person) exist, facesitting is actually one of the easier ones to decipher.
And if you haven’t figured it out as yet – this fetish is literally when someone sits on someone else’s face for sexual pleasure (most commonly, a woman sitting on a man’s face).
The face is then in contact with their partner’s genitals or anus, and either oral sex* or face grinding ensues. Sounds like quite the party, right?
So, today you’ll have the opportunity to learn all about:
- How to facesit comfortably, regardless of your weight
- Tips and props that’ll enhance your facesitting experience
- The psychological factors that come into play with facesitting
- How modern society views facesitting
- Why men and women enjoy facesitting
So, are you ready to enter the wonderful world of facesitting? Sit pretty…
How to Facesit Without the Fear of ‘Squishing’ Your Partner
There are a heck of a lot of people out there who are intrigued by facesitting, but have a fear that they may hurt or squish their partner in the process. But even for plus-size queens, this really isn’t going to be an issue . . .
The trick is not to put your weight on your partner’s face. How do you do that?
Step one: If you’re wanting to go slow to get a taste of the hype, you can start by getting into a kneeling position over his chest. Allow your weight to fall on your legs, not him. Give his chest a little straddle to see how it feels. If it’s peaked your interest, move onto step two.
Step two: Position yourself so that your thighs are on either side of his head, and you’re faced towards the top half of his body.
For the most comfortable result, allow yourself to be close to the headboard of the bed or the wall. That way, you can grab onto it to shift some of the weight, and to gain good balance. He can have his hands either on you or at his side.
Step three: Lower your body so that your genitals make contact with his face/mouth. At your speed, grind, twirl, and dance while he licks you!
And if you want to give him even more pleasure, you could sit in the reverse position (like a reverse cowgirl), and give him a handjob while he licks you. Now that is definitely a win-win for everyone involved, wouldn’t you say?
Additional Tips for Plus Size Facesitting
If you’re a BBW, no stress! Facesitting is the new black, and you can embrace it along with all of your curves.
For your pleasure, you could consider enjoying your facesitting tryst on a harder surface, such as the floor or a firm ottoman, as opposed to a memory foam mattress which may cause sinking.
You could also have your partner use a pillow to prop up their neck, making it more comfortable for them.
And lastly, there’s actually a contraption that’s been created to ensure successful facesitting. You can invest in a nifty little piece of furniture, called a queening chair, that’ll definitely take you to new heights…
The 21st century really is thriving, is it not?
Maximize Your Facesitting Experience
Have you ever heard of a queening chair? It’s a fancy little invention made solely for your facesitting pleasure.
A queening chair is a foldable chair that can be adjusted by height. It has arm rests for balance, and a soft space for your knees.
It can hold up to 300 pounds, making it not only a comfortable option for those who are apprehensive about their weight, but also those who feel nervous in general or who want to enhance their facesitting experience.
Face sit today, queening tomorrow.
Facesitting: A Power Play
In the world of BDSM, dominants and submissives participate in a number of activities, sexual and non-sexual, that mimic their power dynamic.
This can be anything from using sex toys, such as handcuffs, riding crops, and blindfolds, to a submissive undergoing sexual or menial tasks for their dominant. And facesitting is yet another aspect that highlights a power play between partners.
When one is straddling someone’s face, they’re imposing a kind of physical restraint for their sittee while having some influence over their movement.
Additionally, during facesitting, the bottom (usually) doesn’t receive any oral pleasure, which makes his genitals the least important.
Lastly, facesitting can also be associated with erotic humiliation – a consensual act or a choice of words that are said/done in order to cause sexual excitement.
Facesitting in the Media: Fighting Gender Roles
Despite coming a long way, sexist gender roles are still very much ingrained in today’s society. For example, many still believe that boys should wear blue and girls should wear pink, and men should provide for their family and women should be childcarers.
This, along with the way in which men and women are represented in porn, have swayed many to think that it is the man who should be the dominant in any situation – sexual or other.
But as we continue to progress further into gender equality, there have been a number of initiatives and protests that shine light on these dysfunctions. And an excellent example of how women are now starting to take charge, is facesitting.
As mentioned above, when a woman is sitting on a man’s face, the man is physically compromised. The woman’s sexual needs come first, and she is able to manipulate her body to gain pleasure from her partner.
Another example of females rising to power, is a recent campaign by Reebok in Russia. On February, 7th 2019, an ad was released showing female wrestling champion, Anzhelika Pilyaeva, standing proudly with her hands on her hips. Surrounding her, the words: “Don’t sit around waiting for a man’s approval — sit on a man’s face.” (image credit)
And while this campaign has since been retracted, it does pose an important discussion. Sure, the slogan could be considered vulgar, but in no way is it an insult to men or women. The ad was merely created to highlight the flaws in Russian culture – that is, that many women are still constantly seeking a man’s approval.
In a statement made by the marketing director of Reebok in Russia, Alexander Golofast, he said:
“‘Don’t sit around waiting for a man’s approval – sit on a man’s face’ is not a quote about violence. It is a quote about achieving a mutual level of pleasure, between both a woman and her partner. We’re not referring to degrading men here, but instead encouraging everyone to loosen up a bit and fight stereotypes alongside strong women.”
Many argue that this campaign was retracted because Russian society is not yet ready to feel the emotions and underlying message attached to it. This highlights the lack of women empowerment and understanding when it comes to feminism.
Facesitting was also made the centre of the mainstream media in 2014 when the British government implemented a number of changes regarding porn regulations. One of their changes, was to ban the sexual act of facesitting.
In revolt, sex workers gathered outside parliament to protest the new rule, deeming the ban of facesitting in porn to be sexist. They mimicked the sexual act whilst playing Monty Python’s, ”Sit On My Face”.
One protester, named Mistress Absolute, was quoted, “I felt that this was the beginning of something to creep into my sexual freedom and sexual preferences. This is a gateway to other laws being snuck in.”
And so it is. The banning of this sexual act indeed does pose a larger issue that is, society wanting to focus on heteronormative sexual practices.
Are Men Turned On By Facesitting?
On a more positive note, it appears that many men really are turned on by the act of facesitting. This could be for a number of reasons:
- For those who love giving oral sex, it gives the sittee the opportunity to see, taste, feel, and smell a woman’s genitals.
- For those who enjoy being submissive and giving up some or all of their control, it is a power play. It is the purpose of the man to be ‘used’ for sexual satisfaction.
- It can leave behind a scent of a woman’s genitals for a man to enjoy.
- The simple fact of knowing that a woman is taking control of her sexual pleasure is enough to turn a man on.
- Some men find it a great turn on to see a woman being confident and enthusiastic.
- It builds sexual tension, as a man’s genitals are rarely the focus during facesitting.
Do Women Like to Facesit?
The general consensus? Yes! For many women, facesitting is not only a means to feel more powerful and in control, but also provides them with different sensations that aren’t felt (as much) during other sexual acts.
And so, the women of Reddit have revealed the reasons why they love to facesit:
- “I like it because it provides more pressure than regular oral and I can control the pace, which makes it much easier for me to get off. I also enjoy the fact that he enjoys being all up in my lady parts, it’s very intimate in that sense” – STW1929
- “I love pleasuring myself on his pretty face, his lips are delicious but when he eats me out normally it’s tough to get him to lick where I want. Facesitting gives me the reigns to ride his face while he has the instruction to just make out with my lips (my other ones heh heh).” – jeceel
- “A bit of dominance but also I can control the grinding and get myself off quicker.” – Throwawayquestions123
- “It’s not a dominance thing for me necessarily, but I do get turned on by grinding on his face. It’s so easy to keep my clit on his tongue when I sit on his face.” – wienerisland
- “It feels better. I need pressure down there to get off. Also I can control a lot more of the play. Basically the orgasms are better if I’m more in charge.” – Throwaway10849
Are you a woman that loves to facesit? Use these techniques, tips and tricks to enhance your experience and you’ll be rewarded with ultimate pleasure, excitement, and lovely orgasms. Sit pretty, and enjoy!
*In this article, we are using the words sex and intercourse as synonymous, as is done in popular culture in general. However, we’d also like to acknowledge that most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone and need some type of clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration.
Facts checked by:
Dr. Laurie Mintz
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., is a professor at the University of Florida, teaching Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year. She has published over 50 research articles and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Mintz also has maintained a private practice for over 30 years, working with individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. She is also an author and speaker, spreading scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance sexual pleasure.