There’s something about drunk sex that makes me feel like a total porn star. I’m talking feelin’ myself, “yes, daddy!” and willing to try almost anything type of confidence. And from talking with my girlfriends, this is a pretty universal feeling.
Drinking helps us meet new people, communicate our desires more openly, and be more open in general (with our legs, too). I’ll never forget the guy I dated that got wasted and told me he wanted me to stick it in his ass. It’s not something he would have revealed normally, but boy did it elevate our sex life. Thanks, alcohol. I owe you for that one.
Use this as an opportunity to try something new and test out those fantasies you’ve been thinking about. You don’t have anything to lose… besides your clothes of course.
Consent is Necessary
If there’s one takeaway we want you to have from this, it’s that consent is absolutely necessary during drunk sex. While this may seem totally obvious, alcohol plays a havoc role in our ability to communicate clearly. If there is any indication that your partner has had one-too-many, it’s best to wait till the morning to get after it. And even if you’ve discussed your sexual desires earlier in the night, everyone has the right to change their mind. Now that that’s established, let’s get on to the good stuff.
Whiskey Dick
What is whiskey dick? It’s the absolute worst mood killer. It’s when a guy can’t get it up because he’s too wasted, a.k.a. erectile dysfunction from intoxication. Although we often hear the “this is the first time it’s happened before” excuse – truth is it happens to everyone. Just sleep it off and have middle-of-the-night or wake-up-call sex instead. And while girls can’t get erectile dysfunction per se, there still exists a threshold for when sex is, well, doable for us too.
One thing’s for sure – you shouldn’t take it personally. Drinking can be a slippery slope, and I’d just about bet that no one has ever done this intentionally. As a supportive partner, don’t make them feel bad about it. Both heads will get back on the same page eventually.
Trust the Timing
I don’t know about you guys, but there’s a small window when I’m drinking where I am just ready to jump a man’s bones and get freaky. For me, it lasts for about an hour and past that I just get really, really sleepy. It’s a double-edged sword: drinking makes you want to hook up but prevents you from doing so. Science sure did screw us on that one.
Location can also pose an issue. It’s hard when you get horny at a house party, in public, or even at a family gathering (it’s totally happened). But there are a ton of ways to have sneaky sex. In fact, it’s kind of my favorite. Quickies are definitely your friend during this window of drunk horniness.
- If you’re going into the night already knowing that you’re getting laid with your lover or FWB, wear practical clothing that makes it easy to get dressed and casual enough to where your friends won’t roast you when you come back with your shirt buttons misaligned.
- If you’re at a friend’s house or party, make sure you know the host well enough that this would be okay to do in their home. We usually think bathrooms are the best place for this but they are too often frequented, especially when drinking is involved. Maybe the laundry room? Also make sure you have a good alibi for your exit/entrance strategy.
- If you know you can’t wait to get it on until after the party, at least make sure that you’re not missing the main party moments. Your best friend doesn’t want to remember the time you missed her blowing out her birthday candles because you were in the bathroom blowing a guy.
Tips & Tricks to Not Getting Too F’ed Up
We probably all learned these in college, but it’s time to wise up for the sake of drunk sex! Even though we can feel pressured to down drinks, especially when it’s our first drunken rendezvous with a new partner, moderation is your best friend. Getting too drunk is entirely more embarrassing than not feeling “drunk enough” during sex.
Stick to one alcoholic beverage per hour
Allow your liver time to process and metabolize each drink so you can enjoy your drunkness casually. We often rush into taking down drinks. Slow and steady wins the race baby…
Cash rules everything around me
Pro-tip: Bringing cash to the bar forces you to stop drinking when your wallet runs out. We all pretty much have Apple Pay and Uber so cards aren’t necessary.
H2-Ohhhh yes baby!
Drink water before you go out, in between drinks, and when you’re leaving. It will mellow you out and help you avoid a massive hangover. Plus, drunk sex gets pretty sweaty so you should stay hydrated for that reason alone.
Cave into those late-night drunchies
If there’s anything I love more than drunk sex, it’s tumbling into the local 24-hour pizza place to fulfill my drunchies. Yes, they already know my order by heart. Although eating doesn’t necessarily prevent you from getting drunk, it does fill you up and prevent you from downing more drinks. You can also use the “well at least take me out to dinner first” joke.
Drink at the same pace as your partner
You can hold each other accountable for how much you drink. That way, if you’re both too wasted to do the dirty, at least you’re on the same page. (Keep in mind alcohol tolerance in relation to body type, of course.)