Personally speaking, I have never owned a pet and a sex toy simultaneously. But after some research, I realized that animals finding, chewing, and destroying sex toys actually happens quite often. Awkward.
A simple gander on Twitter left me with a slew of somewhat hilarious tweets talking about the game: ‘Sex Toy or Dog Toy?’ where users agree that their dog’s favorite chew toy has a strong resemblance to their intimate human toy.
And in other news, there have been cases of owners casually walking their pup, only to find their fur baby to reappear with a sex toy in their mouth. Even more awkward.
Pets Pining for Sex Toys
Before we dive into some real-life cases of animals having their fun with adult toys, the most pressing question is… why do our pets pine for our sex toys? Dr. Elizabeth Myers, a veterinarian in Toronto, admits that at least 25 percent of animals she treats is due to sex toy-related issues.
She weighs in on the subject by giving three possible reasons why our beloved pets are drawn to our intimate toys.
A sex toy and a chew/play toy is similar in shape, colour, and size
Once you realize that the majority of chew toys strongly resemble that of a sex toy, it’ll be difficult to ever forget it.
When looking at the shape, color, and size of most sex toys vs. your pup’s favorite chew toy, for example, the resemblance is uncanny. Additionally, thanks to the various agents and treatments used to cure the silicone, sex toys often smell quite nice too.
Not only that, but the texture is really satisfying for cats to sharpen their claws on, and they’re often the perfect size for a dog to steal. Once stolen, your dog could interpret you trying to get it back as some sort of game.
And to let you in on a little secret, LELO actually gets a couple of emails every month from customers who have lost their pleasure products to curious and mischievous animals. The struggle is real, folks.
A sex toy contains our smell
The number one reason why pets are drawn to sex toys, according to Dr. Myers, is the fact that it contains our smell… which is sweet yet kind of gross at the same time.
In actuality, you could even take it as a compliment if your pet ever does grab hold of your toy, as it probably means they like or love you a whole lot.
An act of vengeance
Some believe that the reason why pets are finding solace in sex toys is because they’re seeking revenge. Perhaps the noises it makes, or the time spent in the throes of ecstasy as opposed to with them.
Here’s an example: Dr Myers recalls a memory of a pet owner admitting that their dog urinated on their expensive bondage rope because it was kicked out of their kinky play station.
But is this a valid argument?
Well, interestingly, it’s not just humans that plot revenge. There are a handful of animals that too seek vengeance.
According to Stephen Beckerman, a Penn State anthropologist:
“Widespread in the animal kingdom is the behavior of returning injury for injury. Animals as varied and as far from us as blue-footed boobies, elephant seals, side-striped jackals and European moorhens are called punishers. They regularly respond to injuries by attacking the culprit who has injured them”.
(Did anyone else laugh out loud at the fact that there’s an animal called a ‘booby’? No? Just me?)
With that, it’s not been proven that cats and dogs act out of spite. Dogs especially are animals that like to live in the moment and are not waiting for the satisfaction attached to receiving a reaction out of you.
So while some may believe that their pet is able to undergo acts as a means to seek revenge, this notion hasn’t been scientifically proven, making this possible reason null and void.
How Can We Stop Our Pets Chewing Our Sex Toys?
While there’s no solution for pups that find random sex toys whilst on a walk, there are a few things pet owners can do to try and prevent this phenomenon from happening at home.
These preventative measures are actually really important because while we at LELO use medical-grade, body-safe silicone in the construction of our sex toys, they’re still not necessarily safe for ingesting (we’ve not been informed of any serious harm yet, touch wood).
But, as they say, curiosity did kill the cat, so keep an eye out!
- Keep your sex toys in a bag or closed case, or inside a (locked) box
- Train your pet not to destroy things that resemble sex toys
- Place your sex toys out-of-reach (in high storage spaces or cupboards)
Awkward Encounters: Pets Who Have Made Headline News
Well, not headline news (it just sounded better for effect). There have been a few instances of pets putting their nose where they shouldn’t.
A young woman from Nuneaton in England came home to find her sex toy in pieces, scattered across the floor. While being gutted about the situation, she still managed to find some humour, tweeting a picture of her pup and the chewed-up sex toy on social media with the caption, “FREE TO A GOOD HOME. Breed: Staffy X Frenchie, Reason: He’s a twat”.
Another case of dog vs. sex toy happened in Canterbury, New Zealand. This time, a woman was walking her four-year-old Staffordshire Mastiff cross named Huni along the river when the pup decided to wander off. Huni did not return empty-handed however. Instead, she had a rubber suction cup dildo in her mouth. The dog was so fond of this x-rated toy that it took over an hour for the owner to remove it from her gnashers.
You just can’t make this stuff up!
So, what’s the moral of the story? If you’ve got a (mischievous) pet who is all about play time, it’s probably for the best that you hide your toys somewhere safe to avoid an awkward heartbreak.