Rewilding is a sexy idea that gets sexier every day. If we apply the concept to our love life, it can help us have more natural, spontaneous and satisfying sex.
What is Rewilding?
In conservation biology, it represents a restoration of habitat to its natural state, which might actually be the only thing that can save the planet considering we have already altered over 50% of land. Aside from that, there is a widespread movement of personal rewilding—the idea that we can re-naturalize our bodies and lives. It is present in many areas – from barefoot running to various eating styles like raw foodism or the Paleo diet. So it’s only natural to extend it to sex.
Stone Age Sex
A famous phrase wonders if a bear shits in the woods. We could likewise ask if our ancestors fucked in the woods. Well, they sure did; in woods, caves, and even around open fires.
There’s plenty we don’t know about Palaeolithic people, but what we do know is that they likely lived in tribal communities of around 25 members highly dependent on each other and each others’ resources. Many scientists even believe those early societies were to some degree female-dominated or gender-egalitarian. Also, they were very unlikely to be shy about sex and strictly monogamous in a two-people-exclusively kind of way.
If we follow the sexual footsteps of our cave-dwelling ancestors, there are many simple ways in which we can spice up our sex life to make it more lively, natural, and spontaneous. So, let’s do it like they did it in Altamira caves. Here are some ideas:
1. Be fit in crazy and functional ways.
You can’t expect to have a great paleo-sex experience if you are a worn-out couch potato to begin with. Your body wants to run, jump, hike, climb, roll on the ground, and hang off trees as well as do all the other stuff regular Stone Age folks had to do every day in order to get by. Be versatile and crazy with your body and it will reward you with some great sex. And no, you don’t have to have a visually “perfect” body by modern-day standards, just be playfully active.
2. Take it out of bed.
Let’s be clear about one thing—beds are a great place for sex; they are warm and comfy safe places that are both sexy and perfectly designed to be the primary center of our love life. It’s just that they shouldn’t be the exclusive place for sex for a simple reason—being perfectly exclusive about anything is just too finite and narrow-minded.
3. Try outdoor sex and different surfaces.
Every surface has a different feel; soft or hard, warm or cold, smooth or rough… Each quality can be exciting in its own way, so make sure to give them all a try. And taking your sex outdoors will give it a new and mind-blowing dimension you just have to experience. There is even a theory that direct contact between skin and ground heals our bodies (it has a great name… Earthing). As for having sex under the open sky, hopefully, I don’t have to explain its charm to our open-minded readers.
4. Sex next to a fire is spectacular.
Dim, playful light, the smell of burning wood, the feeling of warmth against bare skin protecting it from the ambient chilliness… There’s just something primal about having sex next to live flames that touches on the very essence of our animalistic eros. The dominant theory is that our affinity for fire lies in protection and cooking; I just think it was irresistibly sexy.
5. Try sex in front of spectators.
The fear of being seen making love is definitely a product of an advanced civilization and is very hard to explain to people living in more natural societies. There’s a multi-billion industry based solely on the fact that watching other people have sex produces joy and excitement. Being watched while having sex can also be a great source of joy, but perhaps what gives one the greatest sense of freedom is not having to give a damn if anybody sees you doing it. That being said, make sure to find an appropriate context and do not force other people to watch you have sex if it offends them. Because regardless of everything, we are not actually living in a Stone Age society.
There’s a World Outside of Strict Monogamy
While a fully open relationship is definitely not for everyone, consensually bending the strict rules of monogamy can feel empowering for both partners in a relationship. We can also take a lesson from more recent natural societies; many of them were/are not strictly monogamous but are endogamous, meaning they are quite relaxed about having some side action as long as it stays within a trusted group.
To have a group of people you are close enough to share the ultimate intimacy of love is a rare gift in today’s individualistic society, even though such experiments do not always end well.
However, if you want to discuss this issue with your partner, keep in mind that some people are just truly wired for monogamy and that for them even opening the subject equals to a controlled demolition of the basic structures of relationship. So, tread very carefully when moving in that direction.