Edging is the practice of stopping yourself just before you reach orgasm, when you are on the metaphorical “edge” of sexual climax.
While originally invented as a treatment for premature ejaculation, edging can help people climax more easily, and enable us to develop control over when those orgasms happen (1). Not only that, it’s also known for inducing delicious full body orgasms.
The anus is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, with a high concentration of nerve endings (2). So it’s no surprise that stimulating this area can cause incredible erotic sensations.
When you combine anal play with edging techniques, you get anal edging — a recipe for smoking-hot sex!
Here are three anal pleasure games to try, either alone or with a partner. No matter your level of experience, we’re sure you’ll find something to spark your curiosity.
This guide is brought to you by CLIMAX, a virtual training program grounded in science, and dedicated to the exploration of sexual pleasure.
Before You Begin
Make sure that your nails are filed, with no sharp edges, and wash your hands. Don’t want to sacrifice your acrylics? Use a latex or nitrile glove or “finger condom”. You can put a cotton ball in the fingertips to prevent long nails from poking through.
Wash your anal area with regular soap. It’s not necessary, but you can also use an anal douche if you want to get your insides squeaky clean.
For any anal play, lube is a must: Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating (3).
For Best Results: Multi-task
While the anus has many nerve endings which transmit pleasurable sensations, their purpose is not specifically for inducing orgasm (4-6).
Scientists have found that between 70–80% of women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Anal penetration may indirectly stimulate the clitoris via the pudendal nerve, but it is rare for women to reach orgasm from anal stimulation alone (7,10).
Many men find anal penetration pleasurable sensation due to stimulation of the prostate, which can lead to orgasm. However, it’s also typical for men to not reach orgasm solely from receiving anal penetration.
This means that while anal stimulation can feel amazing, direct stimulation of the clitoris or penis is usually required in order to reach orgasm. We recommend adding a vibrator or touching yourself however you desire while trying these techniques — you won’t regret it!
For solo play
Lie on your back with your knees brought up to your chest, or get down on your hands and knees, reaching one arm around behind you. Another option is to lie on your stomach and reach your arm behind you, resting it on your back — this helps to prevent your arm from getting tired.
With a partner
The receiving partner can get down on their hands and knees with their legs slightly open. You might want to put some pillows under their belly for extra support. Another option is to have the receiving partner lying on their side with their knees brought up towards the chest. Again, feel free to add pillows as needed. Experiment with a few positions to find one you both enjoy.
Game 1: The Tease
Begin by teasing and caressing the upper thighs, buttocks, and perineum. Aim to slowly increase your level of arousal, without bringing yourself to orgasm — yet. Then use a lubricated finger to circle around the anus, brushing it with light pressure. Tap gently on the anal opening, and start to massage it more vigorously.
Each time you feel yourself getting close to orgasm — STOP!
Cease all stimulation and take a break for around 30 seconds to a few minutes — as long as you need to feel your desire subside. Then begin slowly touching yourself again.
Explore the sensations you feel when you circle the outside of your anus with a finger or a vibrator. Try pressing the anus with a fingertip as if you are ringing a doorbell, using constant pressure until you feel it gradually relax and open.
Build up until you feel close to climax again, and then when you feel yourself right on the edge – STOP. Stay completely still for around 30 seconds.
Now, pick up where you left off, and keep this game going until you just can’t hold back anymore.
For more tips about massaging the anus and perineum, take a look at CLIMAX Season 1: External Pleasure
Game 2: Opening Up
Take as long as you need to get yourself comfortable and aroused. When you feel ready, lightly press a finger on the outside of the anus until you feel it relax.
Now, slowly slide your finger deeper inside, a little at a time. Don’t go further than the first joint of your finger. With the tip of your finger inside, use the same pressure and speed you would use if you were tickling the tip of someone’s nose. Do this for 30-45 seconds.
If your body is ready for penetration, you’ll feel the anus open up and your finger will slide in — don’t force it. If you’re not ready yet, keep caressing and teasing the anal entrance. Pay careful attention to your level of arousal, if you feel like you need a bit more, add some clitoral or penile stimulation.
When you feel like orgasm is imminent, watch yourself closely and stop just when you feel almost about to climax. Stay still and don’t touch yourself anywhere for around 30 seconds. Keep your finger inside your anus, just hold it still.
Each time you stop, make an effort to relax your body and breathe a few deep breaths, allowing the sexual energy to dissipate. Then slowly and surely ease back into movement and stimulation.
If your finger penetrates deeper than the first knuckle, you may be ready for some slow in-and-out action. Alternately, use a stiff finger to gently press outward from the centre of the anus in different directions. Play with different combinations of pressure and speed to find the magic combo.
Gradually increase the depth and speed of your finger movement. If desired, add more lubricant and insert a second finger. You can also curl your finger upward using a “come hither” movement, bend and flex it towards the front of your body to stimulate the prostate or the O-Spot.
Once you find a depth and speed that feels good, continue with this motion and let the pleasure build.
Each time you feel yourself getting close to the edge, STOP. Or if you find that stopping cold makes you lose all your arousal, another option is to keep touching yourself, only in a different erogenous zone: the inside of your thighs, your chest, nipples, or buttocks. This break can last a few seconds or a few minutes — experiment to find what works best for you.
Repeat this method two or three times, or more if you can handle it. When you finally allow yourself to succumb, your orgasm will be all the more intense for the delay.
Game 3: Double Delight
Start off with kissing and caresses. One partner can provide anal stimulation while the takes care of the penis or clitoris. This could look like you fingering your anus while receiving oral sex, or maybe you want to use a vibrator on your clit while your partner rims you or fingers your ass. Let your imagination be your guide.
The main things to remember are: slowly build up from light caresses to more vigorous stimulation (if desired), and keep in constant communication.
Watch each other’s body language, and clearly tell your partner when you are getting close to orgasm. Let them know if you’d like them to stop, slow down, or touch you somewhere else — in order to cool you down.
You might want to start by rubbing a well-lubed finger around the outside of the anus, taking your time to provide plenty of stroking and teasing. Playing with the anal sphincter in this way can feel incredible, and it can also aid relaxation, which is essential for anal penetration.
If you’re penetrating your partner anally with a finger, toy or penis, keep checking in to see how they are doing. If you feel their anus tighten down at any point, hold still and give them a moment to relax. If it keeps happening, or if they can’t relax, that might mean you’re going too fast, you need more lubricant, or that they’ve reached their capacity. Don’t suddenly pull out – at the very least it can be a turn off, and in some cases it can feel quite unpleasant. If in doubt, let your partner be your guide.
Each time you feel yourself about to slip over the edge, let your partner know. Whether you stop all touch and movement or simply switch to kissing or caressing other parts of the body is up to you.
Practise and see how many times you can repeat the cycle of arousal, building, stopping, and beginning again. With experience, you might even be able to consciously time your orgasms to coincide.
Edging requires us to intentionally slow down and delay orgasm in order to radically enhance our pleasure. Once you try these techniques, we think you’ll agree — some things are worth the wait!
Have we piqued your interest? Visit CLIMAX for explicit step-by-step guides to explore and enhance your sexual pleasure.
References:
- Semans JH. Premature ejaculation: a new approach. Southern Med J. 1956;49:353-7. 2. Barry R. Komisaruk; Beverly Whipple; Sara Nasserzadeh; Carlos Beyer-Flores (2009). The Orgasm Answer Guide. JHU Press. pp. 108–109. ISBN 978-0-8018-9396-4.
- Janell L. Carroll (2009). Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity. Cengage Learning. pp. 629 pages. ISBN 978-0-495-60274-3.
- Natasha Janina Valdez (2011). Vitamin O: Why Orgasms Are Vital to a Woman’s Health and Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time!. Skyhorse Publishing Inc. p. 79. ISBN 978-1-61608-311-3.
- Shira Tarrant (2015). Politics: In the Streets and Between the Sheets in the 21st Century. Routledge. pp. 247–248. ISBN 978-1317814757.
- Kammerer-Doak, Dorothy; Rogers, Rebecca G. (June 2008). “Female Sexual Function and Dysfunction”. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America. 35 (2): 169–183. doi:10.1016/j.ogc.2008.03.006. PMID 18486835.
- Barry R. Komisaruk; Beverly Whipple; Sara Nasserzadeh; Carlos Beyer-Flores (2009). The Orgasm Answer Guide. JHU Press. pp. 108–109. ISBN 978-0-8018-9396-4.
- Natasha Janina Valdez (2011). Vitamin O: Why Orgasms Are Vital to a Woman’s Health and Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time!. Skyhorse Publishing Inc. p. 79. ISBN 978-1-61608-311-3.
- Shira Tarrant (2015). Politics: In the Streets and Between the Sheets in the 21st Century. Routledge. pp. 247–248. ISBN 978-1317814757.
- Kammerer-Doak, Dorothy; Rogers, Rebecca G. (June 2008). “Female Sexual Function and Dysfunction”. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America. 35 (2): 169–183. doi:10.1016/j.ogc.2008.03.006. PMID 18486835.